Reaching Grandma for Jesus
Right after I graduated HS at 17, my mom kicked me out of the house; sadly feel they (her and step dad) waited 14 yrs to do that. Anyway my aunt found out and moved me in with her in SoCal (for some months before helping me rent a room elsewhere). While at my aunts I had a phone number in my head and had no idea who it was. I told her, she said call it 😀 and see! It was my father's mom! My grandma. How crazy! I dont ever remember calling her as a kid. I somehow memorized it though.
Calls cost $ back then, so we would only talk sometimes and I would write letters occasionally. I didnt live a year at that shared residency. Between job losses, no driving liscense or car, no trandportation in that town, there was nowhere else for me to go but homeless. A gf of a guy who was living downstairs was a Navy aircraft mechanic and she encouraged me to go inti the military, and I could learn a job there. Job security, steady paycheck and maybe see the world. My aunt had shown me how to use a copier at her job, and encouraged me towards secretarial work (and to move up from there). I had done computers in 80s in 9th grade, and had done typing too a little bit. And had applied to college fir one class (but was so broke I had to withdrawl), so it seemed a good plan.
So I took what $ I had, got to a bus, did a farewell tour seeing family in the State, and got to meet up with & stay with grandma like a week or so. So that was great!
When I got out of the mil 4 yrs later, she had moved (to a new rental home in my grandparents town), and I stayed there with her.
As adult when we reconnected, God was showing her that he answered her prayer even after 10+ yrs, and that shouldve also drew her to Jesus. Her BFF secretly said to me after we had reconnected that she had "lived" in hope for that day. It kept her alive. Even in her last days in the hospital she had time to get right with God; God was gracious with her to have that time with me and to be reminded of her need for Him.
I knew I had to tread lightly when I tried to reach her but wanted to somehow start convos towards faith towards the Gospel, as best I could. I had to balance it carefully because she was totally into horoscopes and worldly ideas [even had shelves full of horiscope book subscription stuff. At one point she told me (at her rental home of my childhood) that a house across the way used to be a brothel house in the gold rush days, it was for sale, and suggested I could buy it and become a madam 😬 ], and so I wasnt sure how to approach faith convos well and not offend, nor get booted out [I did have that fear, and I shouldnt have, as God is in control]. But living with her off and on a few years [awaiting my fiance/husband to get out of the military; we were on opposite US coasts at that time], meant would have nowhere to live if the relationship soured somehow. Godly Grandma died while I was in military, and Grandpa moved to a cottage on his property (and his son got the family homestead), so no room for me there. I was never wanted at home and had no one to fall back on. Plus, I had to take into consideration what I learned about her life a bit, trying to find the right way in, so that faith convos went well.... hard when you've not been trained in evangelism.
Her parents had "sold" her into marriage, her in-laws "used her as a slave" in their restaurant [dishwasher, and no pay], her husband was a drunk and abuser, & when her 2 sons were about 5 to 7 she fled from there to another state [AZ to CA] wuth them. Her son [my bio father] resented her for taking them away from his dad. Kids are ignorant and dont understand stuff. His resentment about it continued her whole life. He only saw her very rarely but did come for trash and lawnmowing the last year of her life [when her live in Vietnam shellshocked other sons death insurance $ enabled her to finally buy a home; it happened to be a few blocks away from my godly grandparents home!]. I never knew him and he only came around 1x after I got out of the military, (I got to meet him for like 5 brief minutes). Outside of that the 6 yrs I knew her after reunited, he wasnt in her life, not holidays, nothing. [He abandoned my mom while early pregnant w me to marry some other woman]. He never was in contact with her either when I was a kid, not even around when I was at her place. I believe he took the trash to the dump every week but I never seen him. Even if I heard metal trash cans outside, and if she said it was "her son taking the trash out", I was oblivious to what that meant 🙃, cuz I never knew he existed.
When living w her on and off 6 months at a time (when my husband wasnt in port in VA), I didnt know if she hated God; blamed him for her life or what. I had tried to try to find ways to talk to her. At one point I was reading my Bible in the living room, and she saw it sometimes. I gifted her one at some point [before hubby got out of mil]. One ot two times I saw her at the table with it open and read browsing it with her big magnifying glass. But she never asked me anything. I couldve asked her then if she understood what the Bible was all about, so as to try to talk about Jesus, (but it wasnt till a decade later that I found out I could say what the whole Bible is about in a nutshell, in one sentence). I was a young 23 year old from small churches, and no churches in mil (cuz theyre not run by saved people, and where I was stationed there was no way to get to land, nor in places people spoke english). I wasnt equipped for those adult convos well. Though I had a few attempts with a friend in the barracks overseas.
I did get a chance to ask if grandma if she had ever seen street preachers back in her younger years [it was pretty normal back then], and she said she had. So I knew she had heard about Jesus. Idk if she saw Repent, Jesus Saves, and flee Hell type pickets too. It was early 1900s, (est 1911). It was normal in society for everyone in America to go to Church, for businesses to be closed on Sunday and society then was very Christian. Even though she had the life she had, lived single, worked as a dishwasher till in her 70s she retired, she had to have heard about Jesus.
That was all a couple years before I had evangelism training, so I had no guidance on what to do to start convos, but if in a convo I mightve done well, and if needed, just looped grandpa or the pastor in... if open.
My godly grandparents tried to reach her many times when I was young, (I went between their homes every weekend till the incident) and when they ran into her once in a blue moon after that, like at a store or in town, (which I didnt know about until after she passed, grandpa told me).
I asked her to church a few times, but she never went. I went to the church with grandpa when I was in town, its my home church too. Went there since a baby, and every weekend till 14 (when we moved). It was nice to be back though the solid old-time pastor was gone, and a new younger couple with toddlers was there now. Well, I had been asked by the pastors wife to be involved in a drama skit probably about 8 months before grandma died. And I thought it would be good to do so I could get grandma to the church and hopefully hear the Gospel again. It was a bit hard to memorize the play, even when learning and role playing w other cast members. It was just a couple of us, but at least it was at church so grandma wouldnt hear it (spoilers). The pastors wife looked a little bit like me, I think I was the only gal in her 20s in the church anyway. And I played the younger her. It turns out the short play was about a woman who died who had to stand before God to give account for her life to God. And had flashbacks (my role) to her sins in life. The pastor preached a sermon of sorts after the play, the Gospel was proclaimed, and a call to salvation made. I was able to get her to come (jumped for joy inside) and my hope was she would come to Jesus & God would save her. But she came, heard and we went home. I'm sure grandpa prayed for her [he drove us], as I did. She didnt then, but hopefully she thought about it.
A short amt of time passed, my husband was out of the service, we moved down to LA, and visited her on weekends, (and holidays) after that. Then one Friday we drove up for New Year's and we were in bed. The rooms were across from each other (the open living room diagonally was in between us) and we settled in for the night. We left the doors to the rooms open, and I heard her kinda wheezing. It sounded odd, I never heard that before. So I woke hubby and had him listen too. Something wasnt right. So I got up to check on her and she was having trouble catching air but said "it happens sometimes". *She had a "puffer" she used, occasionally to catch her breathe. I had no idea it was an inhaler or what that meant. I just knew she occasionally used it. Well, she was a huge chain smoker her whole life, and I never connected dots, cuz she had stopped smoking 10 yrs ago (I guess when I was 8), but her lungs never healed from that. Since she didnt smoke [thank God] when I came back into her life, it never dawned on me. And I had no idea what emphysema was. And she never told me, not even that night.
Anyway it was a *gasping* kind of situation, she thought it would be ok, but I persisted & said this isnt right, and incisted we take her to hospital. So I had hubby get the car and we took her to the little town hospital. We put her in the front seat, seat belted her in. And went through the winding roads to get there, trying to kerp her frail body from flopping side to side as we went through the winding hill roads in the mountians. He was driving a bit fast as he could tell something wasnt right and she needed quick attention. We finally got there. I went into the room with her after they hooked her to machines; they had her on a sitting gurney thing, preparing to transport her to Sacramento. As we talked, I think she got a bit anxious & scared. I tried carefully talking to her about Jesus (because I was worried she might die). Well... all of a sudden all the alarms and bells and stuff started going off and a nurse rushed in and staff had me go out. After that she was calmed then transported.
I had just started a new job, we only had one car, we had to go back to LA on Sunday, in 2 days. I didnt have vacation or anything yet. But heard the hospital had a place for family to stay on site. So the next week my boss let me go, hubby drove me there, and I was able to stay for a week. She was sorta ok the first week, (I wasnt there), but she had some breathing problems. After that week, when I was there, she was ok a couple days, then she took a turn... and was gasping for air every breath and it was awful. Very very awful. I just stayed there with her. It's all I could do. She was staying alive with oxygen and by those struggle gasps 247. On Sunday I had to go back to LA. I told her I would be back soon as I could. And told her I loved her.
I got a call on Wednesday (from her BFF) that she had passed away. 2 more days and I couldve seen her on Friday 😥, but at least her struggle was over. I was grateful to have had her back in my life; that God reconnected us, after all those years apart.
Even though I felt a bit of a failure to reach her for Christ in convos, it wasnt all "on me". She had many opportunities in her lifetime to get right with God, and hopefully did get saved. I pray she had that convo with God in prayer (that last week) and that I'll see her in Heaven. If not, ultimately she's responsible to God for her life. A solemn truth I've had to explain to others recently too. We know Rom 3:23 and Mark 1:15 and many other verses, including ones that call us Redeemed ones to faithfully fulfill our calling to proclaim the Gospel.
Get equipped, and purposefully do so, so you dont miss opportunities, look for divine encounters, and actively reach the lost. So you will have no regrets and Jesus will call you "a good and faithful servant" when you step into eternity.
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Witnessing Resource
When encountering people who've lost their grandparent/grandma you could use this as a convo guode to springboard towards the Gospel.
●If the deceased had a Christian background:
"Im sorry to hear that. Did she/he have a Christian background?" If yes...
"Recently heard Benson Boone song about his Grandmother's passing, and how he struggled with God, going to church, & Faith. Have you been struggling with that?" (Let them share). If open or if frustrated, you can guide the convo towards 'faith in God in any circumstance', & " that God is our comforter and hope in life and death, but it starts with putting our faith in Jesus. The ones in Christ will be reunited again and live a blessed eternity together, with the Lord. Have you ever really understood the Gospel before?" Show him needGod.com video. Ask if they "see their need to be right with God" and if yes, ask them "to pray to God right now to get it settled once for all". Then you can help guide them to a Bible focused church, help them get a printed Bible if they dont have one, and help plug them into their church for new believers discipleship, and Sunday School so they can learn, fellowship and have godly brethren around them in the church community to advise, counsel and guide them in the Faith.
Benson Boone, In the Stars... @13:23
https://youtu.be/3ybrOtuWxOs?si=fw2gsIx-j2RrESdI
Bonus Song by Bart Millard
“MawMaw’s Song (In the Sweet By and By)”
Bart Millard
https://youtu.be/3ybrOtuWxOs?si=fw2gsIx-j2RrESdI
Bonus Song by Bart Millard
“MawMaw’s Song (In the Sweet By and By)”
Bart Millard
●If the deceased did not have a Christian background:
Recently I heard a Benson Boone song about his Grandmother's passing, and how he struggled with God, and life questions. Have you been struggling with your loss, thinking about life, death and what comes next?" (Let them share). If open or if frustrated, you can guide the convo towards "Those who have God in their lives know Him as their Father, close comforter who brings us peace, & hope in life and death, but it starts with putting our faith in Jesus. Have you ever heard or ever really understood the Gospel of Jesus before?" Show him needGod.com video. Ask if they "see their need to be right with God" and if yes, ask them "to pray to God right now to get it settled once for all". Then you can help guide them to a Bible focused church, help them get a printed Bible if they dont have one, and help plug them into their church for new believers discipleship, and Sunday School so they can learn, fellowship and have godly brethren around them in the church community to advise, counsel and guide them in the Faith
Jesus is the Prince of Peace, brings peace between us and God, & inner peace and joy. He is always with the Redeemed, and helps us get through every struggle or situation, and shares our joyful times with us too.
